How It Goes
by arilovexo
Summary: Maya visits Cam's grave & finally breaks down. Cam/Maya Eli/Maya Katie/Maya


**Maya's a fetus and a badass. This is a two-chapter story. The italics are flashbacks and they have Cam/Maya moments in it. **

**Enjoy and review for the second chapter! Love, love, love all around, yo! **

* * *

Maya opened the door to her bedroom, and looked around. After making sure the coast was clear, she walked downstairs and into the kitchen, where she took her phone from her back pocket, and looked through her contacts. She found the name she was looking for and pressed call, bringing the phone up to her ear, she walked around to the other side of the island and picked up an apple.

"Hello?" A groggy voice said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Get up sleepy head!" She took a bite from her apple, chewing it for a few minutes, before returning to her phone call. She looked at the time on the clock on the oven, "It's like five in the afternoon, why are you still asleep?"

"Maya, we had a fucking crazy night last night. Pretty sure you were there…"

"No shit. Otherwise I wouldn't have called you. Just get your ass up and meet me at the Dot in thirty minutes." With that, she hung up the phone, and smiled to herself again.

"Going somewhere?" She heard behind her, nearly jumping out of her skin, and turned to see her sister, standing in the entrance to the kitchen, her arms crossed over her chest, glaring at her.

"Whatever, Katie." Maya waved her off. "I'm going out."

"Oh. Out to a party? Like you did last night?" Maya's head snapped up to look at her.

"How do you know about that?"

"My friends were at Drew's party and saw you." Katie's voice sounded so condescending it made Maya want to punch her… or the wall. "They told me all about what you did, and who you were with."

Maya was about to argue, when she remembered something and smirked. "Then you probably shouldn't go on FaceRange then." She noticed her sister had stiffened at the mention of the popular social network site for everyone at Degrassi. "Anyways, I have to go, goodbye Katie." She pushed past her, when Katie spun around and spoke again.

"This isn't you, Maya."

Maya stopped walking and stood, her back facing Katie's. She bit her lip out of anger for a moment, and then spun around to face her, angry.

"Everyone needs to stop telling me that." She spoke, her voice somewhat steady. "I don't give a shit what other people think! You even said so yourself the other day!"

"Then why are you dressing like a slut and acting like one?" Katie demanded. "Last I checked you were an independent girl who played the cello and ignored everyone else's opinions about her."

"I'm still that person, minus the cello part." Maya mumbled looking away. She looked back at her sister to see a look of disbelief on her face.

"Repeat?"

"I quit playing the cello, okay? I quit it. I quite the damn audition I was supposed to go for, and I quit music. I'm even quitting the band!"

"You can't do that!" Katie yelled at her, "A lot of people are counting on you, not only for the band, but for the audition. You wanted it, you worked your whole damn life for it, why are you throwing it away?"

"Because I don't care anymore!" Maya's voice got louder. "I don't care about anything I cared about. My whole life is different. Everything." She looked down at her outfit and noticed Katie was as well.

"Look at yourself, Maya." Katie started, "You're wearing shorts, that I'm pretty sure shows off your ass when you bend over, a tank top that shows off your stomach and heels that you can barely walk in. Who are you right now?"

"This is the new me." Maya said, "Get fucking used to it."

"Why so that you'll sleep easier knowing that I'm okay with you hooking up with every guy that looks your way?" Katie stared hard at her, and Maya just shook her head. She turned to walk away, waving her hand in the air dismissively. "Maya, you can't replace Cam!"

That got her to stop again.

She slowly turned around, her blue eyes dark, as she glared at her sister. "Why not!?" She demanded, "I bet you're just saying that because Jake won't give you the fucking time of day. Besides it's not like he's ever coming back. He made the choice, and now he's gone forever. Okay? So what I do is none of anyone else's damn business but mine. Stay out of it!" And with that, she finally turned around. She walked to the door, and grabbed her back. She was just about to open it, when her mother's voice stopped her.

"Where are you going? And what was all that yelling about?"

"I'm leaving. Bye." Her mother didn't even get to respond, before she opened the door and stepped out of it, it slamming hard behind her.

"Fuck Katie." Maya whispered to herself, as she dug through her bag and pulled out a ziplock bag. "Fuck Zig." She opened the bag, and pulled out a cigarette. Then she pulled out a lighter. "Fuck Tori, Fuck Tristan and most of all Fuck _Cam_." And with that, she held the cigarette in her hand, and lit it, taking a hit from it, she put it by her side and put everything else away.

Then before anyone could walk out and find her, she took off running as fast as she could, down the street and far away from her family and their stupid, dumb, fucked up problems.

* * *

She leaned against the wall of the liquor store, her foot up as she took the paper bag covered bottle from the guy who gotten it for, handing him the money. He walked away, and she immediately opened it, bringing it up to her lips, she chugged it, and then brought it down, wiping the side of her mouth. She then leaned forward, her hands clasped together as she started to laugh, her hand then covering her face as she laughed harder.

Her legs were spread apart in front of her, her ass now on the ground and she wondered exactly how she'd gotten like that as she took another sip from the bottle. She stared ahead of her, and put her hand in the shape of a gun.

"Pow, pow!" She whispered as she took random shots at the people who passed by in front of her. She then put it to her head and pretended to shoot herself, falling to the ground, she laughed again.

Then she got up and picking the bottle up, managed to put the cap on it, and put it in her bag. Then she stumble-walked down the street until she got to a very familiar spot.

Her blue eyes caught onto the poster that was there, **rest in peace Cam Saunders. **She immediately went over to it and stared at it for a few minutes. Whoever had made it, did a good job. Even she had to admit that. There were perfect block letters, many colors, his damn hockey jersey number, and pictures. Some of the team, some of just him, and two of just her and him. How they'd gotten the pictures she didn't know (or want to think about), but she still stared at it for a few minutes.

* * *

"_Look." Cam pointed ahead of them and she looked to where his finger ended seeing Imogen standing in front of them a camera held up to her face. "She's taking pictures." _

_She playfully rolled her eyes, "No shit, Cam." She started to giggle as Imogen walked over to them. _

"_Oh look! There's the happy couple!" She smiled and brought the camera up. "Smile guys!" _

"_What?" Cam blinked and Imogen snapped the photo. "Hey I wasn't ready!" _

_Maya laughed and Imogen snapped that, while he just looked at her, an amused smile on his face. _

"_Oh my god! This picture is too cute!" Imogen brought the camera down and showed them the photo. "This is definitely going in the yearbook!" _

"_Must you shout everything?" Cam asked and Maya playfully smacked him. _

"_Ignore him. He's just cranky because someone peed in his fruit loops this morning." _

_Imogen's eyes widened. "You poor thing!" _

_Maya couldn't help it and laughed. Cam just shook his head. Imogen then watched as Maya's hand reached over and took his in hers, intertwining their fingers. She gave them a knowing smile and then walked away. _

"_I'll leave you too alone." And with one last week she was gone. _

"_Huh." Cam commented. "That was weird." _

_Maya just laughed and leaned against him. "You're weird, Cheesy." _

_Cam looked down at her and smiled. "And don't you forget it."_

* * *

She touched the photo and bit her lip hard to keep from crying. She remembered that exact moment it was taken too. Almost like it had happened the day before.

She then stood up wobbly and walked to the greenhouse where she peered inside, to see the stain he'd left behind. Her eyes closed and she leaned against the greenhouse. She'd never gone inside. With the exception of a few times she had to wait for Katie, she'd never returned. Not after _it _happened. But now, now she'd seen everything and she couldn't believe it had really been the Cam she dated that had done it.

"Why did you do it, Cam?" She asked, obviously not expecting an answer, even as drunk as she was. "Why did you fucking do it?" Her voice was colder, as a breeze blew by and she shivered, goose bumps forming on her arms. "Did you not think I wasn't good enough for you? Or that your damn team or family weren't? Why weren't you happy? Why did you lie to me?" She was basically shouting her words as she drunkenly walked away from the greenhouse and sat down on the ledge around a huge area of grass. She put her head in her hands, and pulled the ends of her hair. "All I want to do is fucking scream, but I can't even do that. How pathetic am I?" She lifted her head then, and faintly heard her phone ringing but ignored it. "I guess pretty, if I'm forever going to be known here as Suicide Dude's girlfriend." She bit her lip and shook her head, looking away, she noticed the bottle in her bag and took it out. Taking the cap off, she started to drink it, and then fell backwards, her body landing on the grass with a thud, but not even feeling it. Her hair was spread behind her as she stared up at the sky.

Her phone rang again and she dug it out of her pocket only to blurrily see a familiar name on the screen, but she was unable to read it.

* * *

_Maya's phone went off and she looked through her bag to find it. Lifting it up a moment later, she smiled once she saw the name flashing across the screen and immediately pressed answer. _

"_Cam! Hey!" _

"_Hey girl." He answered, "What are you up to?" _

_Maya shrugged. "I'm just sitting at home, ignoring my sister's glares." She looked up then to see Katie glaring at her and giggled. "How was practice?" _

"_Exhausting." He admitted. "But I wanted to see if you were hungry and wanted to get something to eat." _

_She smiled, "Yeah! I'd love to!" She got up and Katie watched her. _

"_Great. I'll be there in twenty minutes." _

"_Okay, see you then." She hung up the phone, and closed her eyes a moment, before opening them and looked at Katie, who was just looking back at her. "I have a date." She stated simply and Katie nodded. _

"_Congrats." She made a face, and then went back to her homework. _

"_Don't be like that." _

"_Don't be like what?" _

"_I don't know… a bitch." Maya snapped, and then turned on her heel. "I'm going to go get ready." _

"_Have fun, Maya." Katie said, but Maya didn't hear the sincerity behind it. "Be careful."_

_Maya rolled her eyes and then walked up to her room. A few minutes later, she was walking beside Cam as he just looked at her, a bit confused. _

"_Everything okay?" _

_She realized then that whatever just happened between her and Katie was stupid and she shouldn't let it ruin her night. So she just looked up at him and stopped walking. He stopped to and looked at her confused and worried. She put her arms around his neck, and then leaned in kissing him softly. _

"_Everything's just fine." She whispered and then kissed him again, deeper and gentler then the last one. _

"_Okay." He nodded, smiling at her. "Then let's go eat." _

_She smiled, taking his hand in hers. "Let's go."_

* * *

She pressed ignore and it rang again. Since it wasn't the name she so desperately wanted to see, she didn't give a damn.

Closing her eyes, she just lay there, her body suddenly warm, her breathing started to even out and she realized she was about to fall asleep.

"Wake up." She heard, and opened her eyes to see a figure above her. "Come on, wake up."

She sat up suddenly and knocked heads with that person, but paid no mind to the pain as her heart started to beat fast. "What the fuck? I'm awake!" Her vision started to clear and she saw Eli rubbing his head. "Oh my god, Eli. What are you doing here?"

"Better question, why did you just give me a headache?"

"I… I don't know." Maya looked at her hands, then she looked back up. "To be honest I'm kind of drunk right now."

"No way. Didn't notice." Eli sarcastically responded. "But I'm glad to see you're coherent and okay."

"How long was I out for?"

He shrugged, and for some reason she found that hilariously funny. She started to laugh and he looked at her strangely.

"So… does anyone know you're here?" He asked her and she bit her lip to keep from laughing again. She then shook her head no. "Why are you here?"

"Katie and I got into a fight." She struggled to stand, and seeing the bottle beside her, picked it up and quickly put it in her bag. "I ran away." She shrugged and then started to walk, but stumbled and Eli caught her. She looked up at him and suddenly backed away, almost falling backwards, but he caught her again. "You know what's fun?" She asked as he steadied her.

"You not passing out in front of me?"

She stared at him a moment before nodding in agreement. She put her hand in the air, and waved her finger in his face, "well, that, but also something else."

"And that is?"

She put her hand in the shape of a gun again and looked at it. He looked at it too, and she brought it to in between them. "Pretending that you're about to shoot someone down." She then put her hand to his temple. "Like this…" She looked at him and he looked back at her. "Down, motherfucker, down!" She yelled suddenly and he backed off, she put her hand down and drunkenly smiled at him. "That's so much fun."

"Since when are you into violence?" He asked her and she shrugged.

"I've been watching a lot of movies." She jumped up on the ledge and spread her arms apart, she walked along it, struggling in balance, but managing to make it to the other side, before she jumped off.

She then put her hands in the shape of a gun again and pointed it at Eli. "Just like in your zombie film." She said, and then pretended to shoot him.

Eli just studied her for a moment before he shook his head and walked over to her. "Maya if I remember correctly, you're not this girl."

Maya tilted her head. "Excuse me?"

"Who are you right now?"

"I'm Maya Matlin, you're… Eli…" She blinked her eyes. "I don't remember your last name."

"Goldsworthy." He told her and she nodded, pointing her finger at him.

"Yeah… _that_."

He sighed and put his fingers to his temple as she started to spin around and giggle. She took the bottle from her bag again and then drank it. Eli seemed to notice this and quickly pulled it away from her. "Hey! Give it back!"

"Not happening." He told her. "No wonder you're so fucked up. Look, Maya… you can't turn to alcohol to cope with this."

She stared hard at him. "What do you know?"

"For one thing, I'm the one who saw the damn body. That's going to haunt me for the rest of my life and another, my girlfriend died too."

Maya blinked, "Clare's still alive, dude."

"Not Clare."

Maya shook her head. "I don't know who you've dated, though I remember Imogen telling me something about you two dating for like a week or whatever."

"Yes, but no."

"What?" Maya gave him an exasperated look. "I'm so confused!"

"I had a girlfriend named Julia." He told her, "Before I came to Degrassi, we dated, we loved each other, you know, and then one day… she died. Poof. She was gone."

"Uh huh." Maya nodded, "Okay… how am I supposed to believe this isn't some story you came up with?"

"It's not." He stared hard at her, and she backed off. "Why would I make up a story like that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know."

He sighed, "I was in your position before and though our situations were different, it's still the same in a way. You lost your boyfriend; I lost my girlfriend."

"Think there's some sort of club for that?" Maya dryly asked him.

Eli shrugged and it was silent before he spoke again. "Let's get you home."

* * *

_Maya laughed as she jumped on Cam's back. He effortlessly caught her, holding her legs tight, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ready?" _

_She nodded and then squealed as he ran throughout the garden, her giggling on his back as he spun around and then stopped. He looked behind him to see she had her chin on his shoulder. _

_"I think I'm going to throw up all over you if you spin me again." She warned him and he nodded. _

_"Noted." He said and then adjusted her so that she was on him again. He smiled, "Let's run somewhere." _

_"Where do you want to go?" She asked him and he shrugged. _

_"Let's just run and see where we end up." He suggested and she nodded. He then took off running through the garden and into the school, running down the halls she held him tight and closed her eyes, opening them a moment later to see that they were literally flying by everything, the colors of the lockers and posters all becoming blurred the faster they went. _

_Then they stopped and he leaned against the wall, her back against it as he tried to catch his breath. _

_"You run fast." She said and he nodded. _

_"Hockey will help with that." He said and she rolled her eyes, adjusting her legs so that they were tighter around him she started to play with his hair. He closed his eyes, "That feels so good." _

_"Oh does it?" She asked and he nodded. Then he turned to face her, somehow managing to keep her from falling and pressed her against the wall, his hands on either side of her. She took his shirt in her hand and pulled on it, causing him to fall against her more. She reached up and kissed him, her hands going through his hair as she sensually and slowly kissed him. He kissed her back just as emotional and then they broke apart. _

_"Come on." He said, his voice suddenly raspy. "Let's get you home." _

_She kissed him and nodded, letting her legs fall to the ground, wondering why Simpson, Miss Oh or any of the teachers hadn't stopped them and given them any detention yet. _

_She just figured together they were just that lucky._

* * *

She shook her head. "I don't want to go home."

"Then where do you want to go?"

"Where are you willing to take me?"

Eli thought it over a minute before responding. He gave her a one shoulder shrug. "Anywhere you want to go."

She nodded. "Good." She grabbed his wrist, swinging their hands back and forth she looked back at him. "Then you're taking me to Kapuskasing."

Eli blinked. "Excuse me?"

She knew never in a million years would she suggest it if she had been sober. She knew deep down she needed to say goodbye and she figured that was the only way.

"You got to say goodbye to your girlfriend right?" He nodded, "Well, now it's my turn. I have to say goodbye. I have to let him go. Eli, I have to move on."

He could understand that. So he just nodded his head, pulling his car keys from his pocket. "Alright then. Let's go."

* * *

**Question did anyone see Spring Breakers? Trippy movie. Oh, and Happy April Fool's Day!**


End file.
